tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87846724340817816632011-04-22T02:35:46.284+08:00The real part of me.. ãïŠhяü♥╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.comBlogger61100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8784672434081781663.post-47072213787179824412008-10-16T17:11:00.002+08:002008-10-16T17:32:37.441+08:00Frankly saying, I think I'm suffering from depression..<br />pfft. family.. the best comfort but yet again the worst nightmare.<br /><br />Lately, so insecure.<br />I'm unwanted.<br />I'm just an extra.<br />I am nothing.<br /><br />I had a dream. considered a nightmare I guess.<br />My mum said, " We dont need you!" to me.<br />Straight in the face.<br />*wao. bet she's relieved. finally let out her words.<br />good for her.<br />eventhough it's a dream.. it was so real.<br />hahaHAHA..<br /><br />The parable of the prodigal son.<br />rly makes me wanna be a prodigal child.<br />wad's so good abt being a goodie two shoes?<br />when all ppl do is leech ur goodness n kindess for granted?<br />HAH. must be fun!<br /><br />To be truthful, I hate my bro. HAHA.<br />Just becz he's the eldest.....<br />But he's the one who's the most carefree.<br />He doesnt freaking give a d*m about the things mum is preparing for him!<br />Eg: Good Education.<br />Which I am most likely unable to gain tat from her.<br />I have to work my way out. - Scholarships.<br /><br />We both know tat smth bad will happen. sooner or later in this family.<br />so its just fair for her to put the burden on me instead rite?? ^^<br />"Hah~ My daughter ah! Hmph! Definately must get JPA (a scholarship)! huuhoo!!"<br />hah. easy for you to say.<br /><br />Green-eyed. hurt.<br />I hate being a psychologist.<br />I hate being able to analyse a person.<br />I hate knowing how small my place is in her heart.<br />I hate knowing that I'm overshadowed by my siblings in their eyes.<br />I hate knowing.. wad I couldnt get from them...<br /><br />I hate to have a better past with them.<br />It just hurts me more...<br /><br />*breath in breath out...<br /><br />Advice:<br />If u have a good family, treasure it.<br />Not all kids have parents tat shower them with true love.<br />Unlike materialistic love,<br />True and pure love is so much warmer to the heart.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8784672434081781663-4707221378717982441?l=aishiteru16.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8784672434081781663.post-86632419020806376062008-07-23T21:22:00.003+08:002008-07-23T21:26:51.106+08:00MI GE RU JA NAI YO!!<br /><br />Running away really isn't the usual you!<br />Why?! How come?!<br />I really want to know!<br />Since when, after breaking that freaking wall you built,<br />You've started rebuilding the same exact wall!<br /><br />This time a FAR more STRONGER one...<br />You used your CONSCIENCE. Building the walls.<br />You used your feelings. Hardening the cores!<br /><br />This time, you cant break it yourself anymore...<br />Because YOU yourself! Turned into THE WALLS!<br /><br />Help.<br />For you, easier to give then receive...<br />Help.<br />For you, more of giving then receiving...<br /><br />Thou, deep down in side,<br />A plead.<br />A sincere plead.<br />A plead for "HELP".<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8784672434081781663-8663241902080637606?l=aishiteru16.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8784672434081781663.post-7325282100580397372008-06-22T10:57:00.004+08:002008-06-22T12:32:28.268+08:00<span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Hurt...</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">a simply word. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Yet it means a lot...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Mayb I've hurt u before.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">But nw u've hurt me.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A deep scar, yes.. tat's wad it is.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A wound with salt.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A heart pierced.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Tears are worthless.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Cries are insignificant.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A word of truth to be exact,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Unexpected brokenness filled my soul.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">The hurt stirring from within the deepest part of me.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Tears rolled down uncontrollably.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">As I read what seemed like fate,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A dialogue I nvr wished I'd see.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Somehow, it seems that,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Thru the twist of time,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Variation of fate,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Grimace of feelings..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Izzit so that..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">This friendship is going to end...?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">In this fundamental conflict, I shall say,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">I've learnt.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A far more priceless value.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">The way I think,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">The way I speak,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">The way I act</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">And the way I live..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">A change in all..</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Broken hearts, broken souls..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Nevertheless, life still goes on.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Should I ever look back and wonder,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">How tis came to be,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">I'll always remember thee.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">For the 1st time I cried of these,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Is the dialogue I have read.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8784672434081781663-732528210058039737?l=aishiteru16.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8784672434081781663.post-89746503596017720152008-06-02T12:55:00.004+08:002008-06-03T22:06:11.387+08:00My heart swells in pain..<br />AGONIZING.<br /><br />Time flies.<br />Everything is fading......<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I miss euu so much..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I want to hugg euu.. seriously..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I can feel wad euu felt!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">The more PAIN. The more AGONY.</span><br /><br />And that is why..<br />I'm <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">heart broken</span>.<br />Becz euu too.<br />Euu were<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> heart broken</span>.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Tortured!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Abused!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Stripped of human rights!</span><br /><br />And the most throbbing hurt ever...<br />Is tat all of those.<br />Those <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Terrifying! Horrible! Petrifying!</span> Experiences that <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">SCAR</span> ur life.<br />Euu MUST pent inside ur soul.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">The tiredness.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">The hurt.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">The isolated.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">The sacrifices....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">All of these.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">I can see... can feel..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">Yet also understand.</span><br /><br />Dar,<br />The pain of <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">giving her up</span>.<br />The pain of <span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">obedience</span>.<br />The pain of <span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204); font-style: italic;">sacrifice</span>..<br />The pain of other <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">people's selfishness</span>.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Dar,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">I know wad I am saying wont change anything at all.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">But just wanna let you noe.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">I'll always. Always. Be thr fer euu.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">If you nid me, dont hesitate okay? ^^<br />I noe you wont be able to see this.<br />U wont even be able to come to my bloqq..<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Dar... </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">I rly rly.. Wanna give euu d biggest hugg ever.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">I wanna cheer euu up..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Yet knowing that I cant change anything..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Yet knowing that I MUSTN'T speak of anything either..</span><br /><br />Tis life.<br />Izzit fate??<br />Izzit destined?<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The thirst for freedom.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The hunger for liberty....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">I'm so sorry dear..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">Wish I could do smth..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">*Huqq* </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">*Whisperz: *</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Yuki, Orewa... Tsu.ki.da.yo.. ♥♥"</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8784672434081781663-8974650359601772015?l=aishiteru16.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8784672434081781663.post-1966775253781116002008-05-10T15:31:00.001+08:002008-05-11T00:22:17.166+08:00Me..<br />What am I?<br />What am I to you??<br />What am I to her???<br />Or even to HIM?<br /><br />Every minute.. Every second..<br />The pain.. it swells..<br />Yes, it indeed does..<br /><br />Heart.<br />What is that?<br /><br />Life.<br />What the heck?<br /><br />Doubts.<br />Clouding me...<br /><br />Flaws.<br />Surrounding me..<br /><br />Feelings.<br />Confusing me..<br /><br />Conscious.<br />What I hate.<br /><br />Friends.<br />A bunch who<br />Cant see who I am..<br />Cant understand..<br />Cant be there.<br />A burden?<br /><br />And yet.<br />the Problem lies.<br />Within myself....<br /><br />No one can be blamed.<br />The pain. The hurt. The sorrowful.<br />No one can reverse it.<br />No soul can deny it.<br />It was indeed.<br />My own ways...<br />That these happens.<br /><br />What you see.<br />What you THINK you see.<br /><br />People cares.<br />I care.<br />People wanna know.<br />I dunno how to let them know.<br /><br />The hints. The tone. The expression.<br />Its all useless.<br /><br />I am your reliever.<br />Yet..<br />You became my burden..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8784672434081781663-196677525378111600?l=aishiteru16.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8784672434081781663.post-28822308636389226022008-05-10T13:48:00.001+08:002008-05-10T13:48:30.584+08:00Hi ppl.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8784672434081781663-2882230863638922602?l=aishiteru16.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>╚ ãïŠhяü ♥♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/04595599091115515454noreply@blogger.com0