Depression

Frankly saying, I think I'm suffering from depression..
pfft. family.. the best comfort but yet again the worst nightmare.

Lately, so insecure.
I'm unwanted.
I'm just an extra.
I am nothing.

I had a dream. considered a nightmare I guess.
My mum said, " We dont need you!" to me.
Straight in the face.
*wao. bet she's relieved. finally let out her words.
good for her.
eventhough it's a dream.. it was so real.
hahaHAHA..

The parable of the prodigal son.
rly makes me wanna be a prodigal child.
wad's so good abt being a goodie two shoes?
when all ppl do is leech ur goodness n kindess for granted?
HAH. must be fun!

To be truthful, I hate my bro. HAHA.
Just becz he's the eldest.....
But he's the one who's the most carefree.
He doesnt freaking give a d*m about the things mum is preparing for him!
Eg: Good Education.
Which I am most likely unable to gain tat from her.
I have to work my way out. - Scholarships.

We both know tat smth bad will happen. sooner or later in this family.
so its just fair for her to put the burden on me instead rite?? ^^
"Hah~ My daughter ah! Hmph! Definately must get JPA (a scholarship)! huuhoo!!"
hah. easy for you to say.

Green-eyed. hurt.
I hate being a psychologist.
I hate being able to analyse a person.
I hate knowing how small my place is in her heart.
I hate knowing that I'm overshadowed by my siblings in their eyes.
I hate knowing.. wad I couldnt get from them...

I hate to have a better past with them.
It just hurts me more...

*breath in breath out...

Advice:
If u have a good family, treasure it.
Not all kids have parents tat shower them with true love.
Unlike materialistic love,
True and pure love is so much warmer to the heart.